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Tips, thoughts and things you may like
I thought for a moment this morning how the ride to Gloucester was a bit like experiencing life. Sometimes quite misty so that I was peering to see what was going on around me. Sometimes bright and clear so it was easier to see further around me. Then I realised, whether it was misty or clear, I was still sitting on my motorcycle travelling to Gloucester.
A Story in Two Parts
I was
walking around Witney a couple of weeks ago when I overheard two snippets of
conversation which you might fund interesting.
The
first I heard while in a shop getting a coffee pot, I'd broken the handle on
the one I had being a little over exuberant.
An
obviously stressed mother of two was also shopping too. Having young children
can be challenging, i looked after both of my children while training as a
chiropractor Her youngest was a
boy of about 3 who was asking lots of questions and generally poking things
interestedly. The mother, reaching the end of her tether in that moment,
pointedly said to him 'What's wrong with you'.
Many
of us have probably felt like that mother at some point in our lives and I'm
sure the meaning of what she said was one of care and love for her son, and
maybe the hope that what she said might make it better.
A
while later, just down the road, I noticed a boy of about 4 and a half, I'm
sometimes good at guessing ages :) , walking out of a shop ahead of his father
who was carrying a bag and putting his wallet in his pocket.
The
boy turned to his father, hand on hips and with a tone he'd heard somewhere
before asked 'Are you happy now?'.
The
father laughed deeply while smiling at his son. 'I'm always happy son' he
replied, taking his hand and walking up the road.
Best wishes
AlanSpiders and things
While sitting in bed with a cup of tea this morning I noticed a spider
moving up and down on a fine thread on the radiator about 6 feet away,
that's almost 2 meters if you're under 40 :)
I noticed that as I sipped my tea and generally moved about a little
the spider didn't seem to change what it was doing. Surely it should be
frightened of such a large thing as me I thought, and avoid me.
Then it struck me that maybe it didn't even know I was here. I was so
far out of it's scale of perception that I didn't even register. I
appreciate that spiders aren't known for their eyesight of course but
none the less it struck me as interesting and thought provoking.
All to often I've noticed in myself and others how we are looking for
changes and alterations that might make our lives better in some way.
And, of course, they can.
But maybe sometimes, and I'm sure we've all had revelations, we
suddenly perceive something that makes a major change to us. A big
thing we'd not previously noticed.
So where does this lead? Well, for me, it'll mean widening my
perceptions to take in the extraordinary a little more often,
extraordinary that once you notice it was maybe obvious all along.
Best wishes
Alan
The secret of lasting relationships?
I, like many people, am still learning a lot about relationships and often ask people who seem happy in their relationships how they
do it.
Many of these people talk about how tolerance and the ability to compromise
are important factors in maintaining their relationships.
There was one woman who I spoke to a while back who I think summed it up
perfectly though. For the purposes of telling this story I'll call her Hilda.
Hilda came to see me about a difficulty she was having with her neck mobility
about 2 years ago. I noticed that she seemed quite active and energetic and
generally well in herself and was quite surprised to learn she had passed
her 88th birthday a month earlier. I commented on how well she looked and
asked if there had been a party. Yes, she said, all 3 children had attended,
8 grandchildren had attended, 16 grandchildren had attended and they'd
also brought along 5 great grandchildren. An impressive family gathering I
commented.
I asked Hilda if they had lots of family gatherings. Again Hilda said 'yes'
and that there had been another family party just the weekend before. 'What
were you celebrating last weekend?'. Hilda told me it was her wedding
anniversary. 'How many years was that for?' I asked. Seventy Hilda casually
remarked.
A slightly stunned silence followed from me, not something I do often, before
I blurted 'that's fantastic, how the bloody hell do you put up with someone for
that long'?
'Easily', Hilda told me, 'you just ignore them when they're being a prat!'
What a great answer I thought, as I recognise that I can indeed be a prat, that
comes with being human I think, and that the people I love can be
prats too, but it doesn't stop me loving them.
So what did I learn? I learned that a simple way of seeing and saying
things is often the best way to help avoid the confusion that come with over
complicated analysis. That it's OK to be a prat from time to time. And that
loving people anyway is where it's at.
All the best
Alan
Look Where You’re Going!!!!
I was driving at an enjoyable speed in my car along empty roads late last night. While having some fun I started to think of how it is we manage to negotiate the twists, turns and corners without, seemingly, watching specifically what we are doing. Also I noticed how this seems remarkably similar to the experience of other areas of my life when they are going well. Going smoothly even.
I have read and listened to many good drivers, motorcyclists and cyclists over the years on how they manage to drive and ride these vehicles at, sometimes, quite impressive speeds and there is one thing that is always present in the description of how they do what it is they are doing. It’s also an often used message from anyone that coaches or trains these people.
Look where you’re going!
Not where you don’t want to go!!!!!
By looking ahead to where we are going, or want to go, we allow the unconscious abilities we have to take us there, unfettered by the conscious need to think and ponder at each turn. These unconscious abilities are continually updated by the experiences we have of using them in new areas, often by making mistakes of one sort or another, too fast into a corner, too much braking, a little over exuberant ( that’s probably me :) ).
How does this fit into our lives? Well, if you notice you keep finding yourself getting more and more of what it is you don’t want, maybe you’re looking at where you don’t want to go too much. Practice looking at where it is you want to go and gradually you may notice you’re getting there better than you ever have before.
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